I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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