I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm too high and old for this...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
