Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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