Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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