I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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