Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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