i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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