im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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