She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
