just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
