so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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