Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
