Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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