Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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