UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
