did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
