he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I could fuck to npr.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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