I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
