For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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