Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
