small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
