Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
