Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
