So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
