Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
