Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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