Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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