i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
