you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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