You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
