Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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