Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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