did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Randomize
