No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
