Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
