no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
