She is in my trunk
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
