real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
