Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
