worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
