When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
