He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
