we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
