Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
