Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
