It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
