i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
