Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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