dude i'm inner monologue high
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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