I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
