Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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