the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do herpes really smell.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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