We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
