No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
