they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
