I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
