You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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