well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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