I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
