his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
