Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
