A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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