Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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