dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
