yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
