im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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