I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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