My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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